~Nyctophobia

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Things are growing here

Sat Dec 30, 2006, 12:05 AM

Mood: Miserable
Listening to: Rain falling
Reading: Thomas Hardy
Eating: Nothing

My life is turned around. My father has cancer. He's dying. My life is turned on its head. Throwing up.

And in this time all I can think of is this poem. All I can think of is this poem.

"You did not walk with me

Of late to the hill-top tree

By the gated ways,

As in earlier days;

You were weak and lame,

So you never came,

And I went alone, and I did not mind,

Not thinking of you as left behind.

I walked up there to-day

Just in the former way;

Surveyed around

The familiar ground

By myself again:

What difference, then?

Only that underlying sense

Of the look of a room on returning thence."

- The Walk, by Thomas Hardy

8 Comments

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~somatik Dec 30, 2006, 2:47:48 AM

My heart goes out to you, for whatever that is worth. I have quite a big heart though so I hope it's worth something, even to you who is so many miles away and barely knows me! May you keep finding the strength you need to help him and yourself.
Hardy has such a hypnotic and evocative way with words.

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*Nicksta Dec 30, 2006, 7:10:01 AM

I'm sorry to hear that Iva

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*fraterm Dec 30, 2006, 2:30:34 PM

Sad and mad, let me know if you need anything, and let him give that cancer hell.

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~crazysheepie Jan 1, 2007, 8:19:27 AM

Thomas Hardy is good for the grieving soul. I'm afraid my experience with death is limited - and especially when it comes to close family. It is cliche but I am really sorry to hear this news. I hope you and your family make it through this alright. The one small mercy is that you have the chance to say good bye, something many people I know didn't get this past year.

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~henre Jan 1, 2007, 10:45:44 AM

...

to you and yours.

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~autumn-rain Jan 3, 2007, 9:58:11 PM

oh my god..
when did you find out about this?!?!

why didn't your journal appear in my message?!?!@#?!@#?!@#?!@# far out

stay strong, i know it's easier said than done.. but this is the time when your father needs your support

hopefully you will find closure and peace sooner rather than later.

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